tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690119989265676870.post3032036627865368564..comments2023-03-25T15:32:51.744+02:00Comments on Mine for the Taking: Countdown: 5 - Kiss & Tell (Part V)FreeFoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00096319447345952569noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690119989265676870.post-64270589084938522202010-12-22T20:13:26.522+02:002010-12-22T20:13:26.522+02:00I really don't know what to say, other than I ...I really don't know what to say, other than I can see how important it is to tell this story.<br /><br />These reactions, from family and school and others, are all too human and way too common to let go on any longer. <br /><br />I think the world is changing, getting away from these attitudes and seeing people for who they are rather than what is expected. But it just takes so long to change people. Generations and generations to get any change from people.<br /><br />This is a great passage. It felt honest and frustrating at the same time.Andrewhttp://godwillbegod.com/blognoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690119989265676870.post-75701658002757314082010-11-15T12:20:32.424+02:002010-11-15T12:20:32.424+02:00Even with the rewrite, it's looking quite a le...Even with the rewrite, it's looking quite a leap from some of the previous chapters. Perhaps what isn't coming across is the love you have for the guys you mention. There's a playfulness about your earlier character descriptions which is lost here (and I appreciate it may be more difficult to get it across due to the nature of these new relationships.) However it ends up looking and feeling in relationship to the foregoing passages, I get the impression you need to write it, so don't get too bogged down in concern for your reader - at least not yet. Plough on, then see if you feel you can make adjustments when you re-read the story as a whole.Benhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11965535693027179744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690119989265676870.post-52794582351736511812010-11-14T14:17:35.984+02:002010-11-14T14:17:35.984+02:00@Ben: Yeah, you are right about the tone. (BTW the...@Ben: Yeah, you are right about the tone. (BTW there is a <a href="http://shortcutsandvagrants.blogspot.com/2010/11/duct-tape-is-silver-version-2.html" rel="nofollow">rewritten version</a> of that "fragment" up which I hope is an improvement.) That is part of what troubles me. The Edinburgh Chapter is about two chaps, Charley, who I loved for his art of deception and Ponyboy, who i loved for his artless despair and desires. Meeting both of them gave this story a decided turn for the darker - a turn that would indeed come back to haunt me much later - and I am at a loss how to navigate that sudden twist in the road of the tale without rocking my narrative boat too much and either chucking the reader overboard or smashing the whole boat against the rocks of biographical fact... or at least letting it founder on the shoals of memory.FreeFoxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00096319447345952569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690119989265676870.post-58717927270967207802010-11-09T12:24:10.683+02:002010-11-09T12:24:10.683+02:00Checked out the fragment. A little more than a fra...Checked out the fragment. A little more than a fragment I'd say! As some of the commenters there have noted, it stands alone just fine, but unless you're aiming at a dramatic change of tone, it doesn't currently seem to belong here. If it's part of the story though, I guess you have to find a way, and maybe you're on to something with switching to a third person narrative for more graphic passages.Benhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11965535693027179744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690119989265676870.post-57721934896566589152010-11-05T22:36:59.754+02:002010-11-05T22:36:59.754+02:00A non-working fragment of what I am trying to make...A non-working fragment of what I am trying to make into Chapter 5 is <a href="http://shortcutsandvagrants.blogspot.com/2010/11/anatomy-of-foundering-chapter-duct-tape.html" rel="nofollow">here</a>.FreeFoxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00096319447345952569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690119989265676870.post-43669626056375954802010-11-05T13:27:02.879+02:002010-11-05T13:27:02.879+02:00hey hey, it's been a while. where's the ne...hey hey, it's been a while. where's the new installment?<br /><br />Love<br />L.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690119989265676870.post-4131550391042761842010-11-04T13:26:04.886+02:002010-11-04T13:26:04.886+02:00Hello. Just to say I've been reading, and will...Hello. Just to say I've been reading, and will carry on reading. Really fascinating stuff.Benhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11965535693027179744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690119989265676870.post-1562560441135316422010-11-03T18:30:17.621+02:002010-11-03T18:30:17.621+02:00@Micky: You think. I think it was the second most ...@Micky: You think. I think it was the second most painful thing she ever said to me. Even worse than telling me I wasn't welcome in her home anymore.<br />Never got to come out to my dad. How did your coming out go? (You got my mail if you don't wanna tell it here, and I undertstand if you don't wanna tell at all. But if, I'm all eyes and ears.)FreeFoxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00096319447345952569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690119989265676870.post-40893176838037630452010-11-03T16:49:00.467+02:002010-11-03T16:49:00.467+02:00Hell of an anti-climax coming out to your mum then...Hell of an anti-climax coming out to your mum then.<br /><br />Mind you - these days among our fellow bloggers it often is.<br /><br />And it was for me too. Dad was a different story, but coming out to Mum was a doddle really.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690119989265676870.post-21571579361785524612010-11-02T11:04:36.351+02:002010-11-02T11:04:36.351+02:00Yeah. I dunno. Maybe you fought, I dunno, defensiv...Yeah. I dunno. Maybe you fought, I dunno, defensive? Kurwa, how to say that: i've known kids who faught out of desperation, not anger. Who fought to stop something, not to truly get back at someone. Other kids notice these things, even if they maybe cannot explain it in words. I think what Sam and the others reacted to was that at that moment, I didn't care what would happen to me. I wasn't trying to stop him, I only wanted to end him. In other words I was stupid and evil. Peeps like stupid and evil. They don't forgive you if your smart and kind.<br /><br />Ah, who knows...FreeFoxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00096319447345952569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690119989265676870.post-29670530463403740492010-10-30T23:23:28.943+02:002010-10-30T23:23:28.943+02:00"If you are getting static at school, just go..."If you are getting static at school, just go berserk. It might get you into all kinds of hot water with the grown-ups, but it’ll counter most of the homophobia from your mates"<br /><br />Oh I tried that, very nearly killed one of the bastards but all it got me was the kicking of a lifetime, a ruined uniform and my arse thrashed at home. The queer taunts didn't stop for a minute. Still, if it worked for you then maybe it's an answer.<br /><br />MalcolmMalcolmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16750431202226062206noreply@blogger.com