tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690119989265676870.post438859811641759768..comments2023-03-25T15:32:51.744+02:00Comments on Mine for the Taking: Chapter Six: Tales from the Trails (Part II)FreeFoxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00096319447345952569noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4690119989265676870.post-22153352118347085492011-02-12T23:40:10.483+02:002011-02-12T23:40:10.483+02:00Curious journey, from nightmares to baptism to dis...Curious journey, from nightmares to baptism to discipline-training to heavenly choirs, all in one post...<br /><br />Recurring pattern, or theme developing?<br /><br />the line that starts "I enjoyed the smell of petrol, beer, m... is good, back to the extended stream of consciousness style sort of thing, but maybe go over it again and make sure it flows the way you want it to. I got a little hung up as a reader with the "ands" in the middle. That's later editing though, don't worry about it until you are sure it says exactly what you want it to say.<br /><br />I like the songbird information. The "If you are wondering how a city boy..." explanation seems a little too heavy-handed. You could just as easily say "It's my aunt's fault." and the reader is caught up in your explanation. Just flows along with you.<br /><br />Meh.Andrewhttp://godwillbegod.com/blognoreply@blogger.com